so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My vagina just clenched in fear
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
