Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
