I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
They have beer where we have blood.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
