I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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