if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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