That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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