You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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