So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
