Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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