You made me cry and you don't even care
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
