They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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