there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
