yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
