i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
