don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
