Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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