Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
