I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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