She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
