I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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