well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
