We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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