Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just google imaged poop.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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