my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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