did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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