What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
