The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
