I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
