If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
