We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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