I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Randomize