just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
