Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
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I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
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First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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