For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
