You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's never too late to be topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize