a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize