you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize