doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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