feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
