im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
