so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
