I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
