wanna go halves on a baby?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
