This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
