We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
