I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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