Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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