What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
