Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
