Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
