Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
