Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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