Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
