I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
