Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
