I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
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Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
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He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.