I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just had sex on a roof
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.