More tranny stories later!
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
