Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
