the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
