I hate your face
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
