I must be too annoying 4 u.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
