I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
