took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
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when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
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I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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