____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Less talking, more tequila
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
