After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
