is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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