Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
